buddingrose4u's Blog

My first marriage was a very painful life experience; and one that could have been avoided if I had learned to interpret my dreams at an earlier age.  (I had a nightmare every night for a week before the wedding.) 

By learning how to work with my dreams, I have been able to avoid getting so far “off track” that my dreaming self has to resort to scare tactics to get my attention.

Ghosts
disturbing my sleep
haunting me
with their presence.

Parts of me
fearfully disowned
horrifying me
with their persistence.

Nightly they come
begging to be acknowledged
to be accepted
as part of the person I am.

My struggles are in vain.

In defeat
I lovingly embrace
loathsome apparitions
in a final effort
to make peace with myself.

The next significant dream was not so pleasant.  In fact, I found it very frightening.  I dreamt that I was in prison having a sword fight with another prisoner.  I lost; and my heart was cut out with a sword. 

Did this mean I was going to die?  My flower dream came true.  Maybe, in similar fashion, this dream was going to come true as well.

But the days passed and I remained alive, thankfully.  I began to suspect the dream had a different meaning to it, but for the life of me, I didn’t know what the meaning was.

In many of his writings, John Powell said, “If you don’t know the answer to a question, then live the question and the answer will come to you.”  So, that is what I did with this dream.  Every now and again, I would go over it in my mind, reliving the experience of the dream.  I would wonder to myself what it meant; and then I would let it go.

I was doing a lot of inner work on myself at that time in my life.  Being the survivor of an abusive relationship, I had a lot of healing to do during the grief process.  My goal  at that time was to become a more loving person and to have my life reflect that.  It took awhile but eventually I realized the dream was telling me that the change was actually happening.  I had been given a “new heart”.

Twenty nine years ago I had a dream of some pink and purple flowers.  I didn’t think anything of it because at that time in my life, I didn’t pay attention to my dreams. 

The next day, the seniors who lived next door to me asked if I would like to have some flowers to plant.  They had accidentally purchased more than they had room for.  I had never planted flowers before but thought it might be fun to give it a try,  so gratefully accepted. 

After planting the flowers,  I turned to survey my work before going back into the house.  And there were the exact flowers I had seen in my dream the night before!  This really piqued my curiosity and so I started paying attention  to see if this connection between my waking life and my dream life ever happened again. 

I noticed that it actually happened very often.  I did not know what to make of this but I was paying attention to see where it might lead.